What a Croc!

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" "Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc. "Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase!

?????Fly Fish Tournament?????

Every person who has ever done much fishing has heard stories about a place where..."the fishing is so good.....the fish jump right into the boat."It's true. take a look.

It's too bad that bass don't do this!!!

Fishy Wife

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."" If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Fall Fishing in Florida

Who said you have to wait until the winter to catch big fish in Florida?!?!?!? On Friday September 16, 2005 (just a few days before the beginning of Fall) our 3 boat party were STROKIN' the bass! My customer's second bass of the day weighed in at 9 lbs 12 oz. The other two boats were catching bass between 7-9 lbs, also.

"Has it started to cool off already?" you say? ! NO - it's still hotter than blazes and no one can stand to stay out on the water much later than 10:30-11:00!

"Has the hydrilla grown back in Lake Walk-in-Water?" you say? NO - the bottom is almost as bare as it was last year after the triple hurricanes!

"Are the bass starting to school up?" you say? YES - but mostly smaller bass, around 2-4 lbs, are schooling up and chasing shad pods!

"Has the big bass population returned to Lake Walk-in-Water?" you say? YES - thanks to the 3 fish limit with a slot regulation!

"So what's the big secret to catching these big bass in Lake Walk-in-Water since the hurricanes cleared out all of their hiding places?" you say? Well, it's no big secret - you just have to know how to catch big bass on this lake the same way it was done 15 years ago when the lake was so pristine you could see the bottom with the naked eye. Once the lake filled up with grass, it didn't take much "know-how" to find bass on the lake. All you had to do was drift across it with shiners and, with all of the grass holes, you were bound to come upon some fish sooner or later. Now it is not such easy pickin's.

You need to know the lake, the contours, the drop-offs, and the patterns the bass tend to follow. These are things you only come to know after fishing a lake for years and years, adapting to its seasonal and yearly changes. Mother Nature has a way of taking care of her own, and that's just what she did when she blew those hurricanes through here and cleaned out the best bass fishing lake in Florida!

Take a look at the picture of the bass caught last week, take a good look. She is healthy! Just like all the rest of the bass we caught that day. No ... This lake hasn't lost its punch ... Its just created a bigger and better challenge to weed out the real fishing guides that know how to find fish from the drifters that took advantage of this lake for so many years. Now it will really have a chance to come back and be as good as it once was. Back to the "good ole days" when it wasn't so rare to catch a 10 lb hawg and, who knows --- it just may produce Florida's next record big bass!

If you want to come fish with me and try to catch a trophy largemouth bass, email me at captdick@bassfishingguide.com or checkout my website.

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